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Look… it’s tough out there on the dating scene; I get it. You need a unique angle on your dating profile to make sure no one’s swiping left, and you need to be over 6 feet, super rich, and shit unicorn tears. But this… I don’t know what this is, but it’s not normal.
Going under the handle Dangerously Beefy, our love-lorn cowboy is most likely named Stephen, and he’s a little sad that he’s getting put out to the friend zone pasture.
And he thinks that beef should have something to do with it.
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Now, ladies. All he wants is a fair chance. He’s not looking for a kept woman, and he won’t ask you to let him wear the manure-faded pants in the relationship exclusively. So there’s that.
But still, the beefy thing is throwing me off. I mean, he really commits to it.
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Based on a quick Google, a puncher is a ranch hand/wrangler of cattle and horses. So, one one hand; decent salary, 401k, and gets paid in beef.
One the other, probably smells like a barn and un-ironically pairs a chambray work shirt with jeans, jean jacket and stetson, and hit’s up a Chilis on a Friday night.
I’m torn, because I do love a perfect steak on the regular.
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So, whether or not anyone wants his beef, to see his sausage or go for a roll in the hay, remains to be seen.
Twitter, however, roasted him to a nice outside crust, keeping the inside pink and tender.
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God, I could go for a hamburger right about now…
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I mean Mel, read the guy’s tweet. He wants to be your teammate AND slather you with some nicely marbled steaks.
The only rescue you’ll need is from your belt, from all that meat.
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