1
I thank God that I have a relatively stable family and extended family, especially when I read stories like these. I think we’ve all dealt with a relative that got a little too drunk for their own good, but I pray none of you have experienced anything like what you’re about to read.
2
My step brother was just released for drug possession and distribution. Total black sheep of the family. Brings his girlfriend who is high out of her mind. They proceed to eat nothing but turkey and rolls. Then she decided to go shoot up in my step aunts bathroom to where we found her passed out. My step brother attempts to wake her up by punching her in his words “the cooter” Cops are called.
GraphicgL
3
Grandma threatened to shit in the turkey if we didn’t let her watch Jeopardy
slurmpnurmp
4
My Aunt decided to announce she got Chalmydia as we started to eat and my grandmother told her getting stuffed by random people is for Turkey’s. I laughed really hard.
shadingnight
5
The woman my cousin had just married stole a Costco sized box of individually wrapped Cheezit packages from our garage. I just happened to notice they were gone when putting food in the fridge. Asked about it publicly and she locked up, started stuttering, and went to get them out of her car. She returned with the excuse “I thought these were mine. I have a box just like them at home”.
chandabear17
6
My uncle poured Crown Royal on his turkey and ate it.
ExportAye
7
She was responsible for bringing the dessert. She showed up 3 hours late and instead of bringing dessert she brought an open bag of frozen pierogis. It was a real downer.
TheLongAndWindingRd
8
My uncle shot the tv because of how the Lions were playing. This was back in 77 or 78 iirc.
ironhead_mule
9
my uncle brought a woman other than his wife. She was crazy. A practicing witch who would “divine” things about us on the spot and ironically accused my other uncle of having an affair. She got drunk and groped me in the coat closet, then tried to kiss me saying, “if only I were young again” I was 16.
Well-I-Wonder
10
My husband’s brother and his sister-in-law (who was married to his OTHER brother) always disappeared for about 20-40 minutes at the same time.
This happened for four years in a row before anyone got nosey enough to go looking for them.
Sister-in-law is now married to the Thanksgiving Hookup Brother.
sexandbooks
11
My Aunt Janie took a bunch of Xanax (and who knows what else) on top of a jug of Carlo Rossi that she had hidden in her room. She then proceeded to steal every spoon in the house while the rest of us were drinking and playing games. EVERY. SINGLE. SPOON. We found them in her purse.
Why just the spoons?
p0i8n5e3cone
12
My aunt was sent to bed because she was too drunk last year and ended up falling down the stairs an hour later when she tried coming back
tim-whale
13
This isn’t an isolated thing, but if someone doesn’t show up for thanksgiving or Christmas we automatically check the inmate records at the county jail. It’s happened a few times that someone’s absence is accounted for by an arrest and/or jail stay.
ManhattanMaven
14
Picked up an entire stick of butter with their hand to butter their corn.
No wrapper. Bare hand to butter.
IneptNoodle
15
My mother in law died one Sept after [knowing she had] cancer for less than a year. My parents invited her widower husband to have Thanksgiving with us. He spent much of the time giddily talking about dating aps. My husband was not amused.
WillyNilly_oogle
16
I was at my wife’s uncles house for thanksgiving , and his wife decided right after dinner to play their wedding video ( because it was also their anniversary weekend). She looks for a half hour to find the video tape, finds it and gathers the whole dinner party (25 ish people) to the back room area, plays the video, and right as she’s walking down the aisle, mid way down the aisle it goes fuzzy….. and cuts to…… Dale Earnhardt’s funeral.
Uncle joe used that tape to record Dale Earnhardt’s funeral. Granted it was in small town Michigan wherenthe nascar track is, but still….Everyone froze in complete shock and I started laughing and felt like i was in a sitcom but it was real life.
homanisto
h/t Reddit
